Breastfeeding an almost two year old
I’ve been nursing Michael for almost two years now. He’s already made the developmental leap that makes a two-year-old, well, a two-year-old. And it’s making my head spin. He’s suddenly not my little baby anymore. He’s still so young, so little, so immature, and far from being a big kid, but he’s definitely lost a good portion of his babyness.
It used to be that at least when I nursed him, he would turn back into a little baby. When he was nursing at six months old, he seemed like a newborn again. When he was nursing at a year, he seemed like a six month old again. Through much of his second year, nursing turned him back into a little baby. Now, as he fiddles, yanks on my garments, and sticks his foot into my shirt and stretches it out, he doesn’t seem to be reverting into that little baby anymore. In fact, just last week there was one night where he woke from sleep, my breast was full and he guzzled it down, and I realized he hadn’t nursed so sweetly in so long. I miss that.
Recently, I sometimes feel like I might want to wean him. Nursing just isn’t as enjoyable as it used to be, and two years was my goal, after all. But I know I would regret it. What would I do to soothe him the next time he got sick? What would protect him from illness in the first place? What about those days he doesn’t feel like eating anything…will he just get cranky because he isn’t getting the nourishment he needs? What about the comfort he gets from it? So much benefit for him…but what do I get? Just another tool in my mommy box? I want to enjoy the breastfeeding, too!
And I still do some of the time. Maybe this is just a rough patch. I hope so. I know I would regret weaning him. At the same time, I don’t want to resent breastfeeding him.
On a happier note, just yesterday while Michael was playing with a toy airplane and a toy helicopter, he stuck the nose of the airplane into a screw on the belly of the helicopter, and said “Meek!” I had heard of little ones nursing their dolls, teddy bears, and even toy dinosaurs, or having their mothers pretend to breastfeed their toys, but never had I heard of a child nursing his toy airplane with his toy helicopter!
That seriously made my day. I’m not ready to give this up yet.